Author Archives: lizjasper

Coming December, 2013, the long-awaited third novel in the Underdead vampire mystery series!

Posted on by lizjasper

Not undead, merely…underdead

Science teacher Jo Gartner staked the dangerously attractive vampire who turned her almost undead, and his minions haven’t come after her for revenge.

Why not?

Who cares. She has everything under control.

Except she’s not sure Will is really dead dead.

And Detective Gavin Raines, her vampire-hunting crush, has popped back in her life to investigate an odd string of murders…and maybe finally ask her out on a real date.

At least her her teaching job is straightforward. Or rather it was before the world’s most perfect teacher joins the staff and seems to be noticing that her vampire traits are, well, a lot more apparent than she’d like them to be.

Caught between two worlds and fitting into neither, Jo must risk it all to take her own path–before the next person dead is her.

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Liz Jasper’s Top Five Work Avoiders

Posted on by lizjasper

5. Clean the bathroom with a toothbrush and half a Q-tip
4. Stress bake five pans of brownies at once
3. Netflix marathon of a series with at least three seasons under its belt
2. Try to train the cat to fold laundry
1. Other work

Hold on.

What happened to my wonderful procrastination list? There is something very wrong with this list. #1 should definitely NOT be on there. But it has been.

In addition to writing books, over the last couple of years I’ve gone back to grad school–again–and studied for and passed The Big A** Ten Hour Test (over a 24 hr period but still!), and then I took another test and…. I want you all to know the dedication I have to my writing that I went back to school again just to get fodder for writing classroom scenes. (Ok, I had other reasons. And I do like learning.)

But the good new is that I’m done with school and tests (YAY!) andI have finished Underdead With A Vengeance.

HOORAY!

Kim Van Meter is messing around with the cover. My final readers are reading away. My editor is sharpening her red pen. And I’m napping. I hear other writers cackling knowingly. Ok, I’m not napping. I just really want to nap, so I’m trying that “putting it out to the Universe” bit. (If someone knows a way I can promote my next book by napping, please, I beg of you, let me know immediately.)

I took last weekend off and it was bliss. No work. Quiet. I listened to bees buzz and wind rustle through the trees.

And then I came back home and boom! all the todo lists collided in my head and I think something shorted out.

So. Help an author out. What do you have on your procrastination list? So that I can steal it?

Writer’s Lair

Posted on by lizjasper

I’m using this interlude while Underdead with a Vengeance is off being critiqued to deal with something that has been a pressing on my mind for a very long time:

I don’t have a lair.

A few months back, fellow writer Mike Schulenberg (his funny blog is here) and I were doing a little twitter brainstorming to try to solve the problem. It went basically like this:

Liz: You have a lair?

Mike: Of course I do. Where else would I hatch my diabolical schemes?

Liz: I need a lair! Volcano?

Mike: Don’t overlook the timeless appeal of a moon base

Liz: Too cold. Maybe volcanic moon of Jupiter, but that’s too far from Swenson’s Sticky Chewy ice cream.*

* The best chocolate ice cream. I don’t know why other manufacturers bother trying.

The truth is, I’ve had my eye on the perfect lair since I was twelve, or however old I was when I saw A Man With a Golden Gun.

(Imagine picture here. I took it down. Because I was getting  visitors.)

Lairspot: Ko Tapu Island in Thailand. AKA James Bond Island. AKA Liz Jasper’s sweet new Lair.

Keep.
Off.

It has everything I need. It’s warm, it’s gorgeous, it’s in the middle of nowhere, and it comes with minions. Minions who can swirl me up a soft serve and keep the tourists off the beach.

Opportunity for world domination–bonus!

I think I’ll move in this weekend. It’s been deserted for decades. James Bond fully ousted that lame squatter who drew attention to himself by trying to takeover the world. (That is NO way to treat a secret lair. He deserved what he got.)

If you have a lair, please do tell me about it. Perhaps I’ll send one of the minions over with a nice bowl of soft serve.

Underdead With A Vengeance–news on the third book in the series

Posted on by lizjasper

I feel like I have to start this post with,”No, I haven’t died,” which I do realize is how my last posting started. Nevertheless… No, I haven’t died. I HAVE been working on the third book in the Underdead series. And I’m here because yesterday I finished a rewrite pass. Hooray!
Now, some writers would have used “the” re-write pass. (Jealous moment.) I’ll be doing another one before I send it off to my editor.

But, that’s all fine tuning, and as a former Life Science teacher who used to spend quality time with microscopes, I can attest that fine tuning means the end is in sight. (Note: nylons and fresh lettuce leaves (chloroplast streaming makes you wonder at the definition of what is alive) are very cool under a microscope. Never get tired of them.) (Or parenthetical phrasing!)

So, third book coming soon. There will be a fourth for certain. And possibly many more.

I need a wee bit of space before I look at the book again, and I won’t know what to do with myself if I don’t spend my commute time and lunch hours writing so I might actually post blogs. I know, you’ll all faint from the shock if that happens.

Happy Labor Day everyone! I’m going to put the computer away, get off the couch and go for a hike.

I haven’t died but I might be turning into a dwarf

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Sneezy, to be specific. I refuse to consider that I am suddenly succumbing to seasonal allergies so turning into a dwarf is the only logical explanation for my sudden onset tissue needs.

Other than that very exciting update, the fun news here is that I’m hard at work writing the third book in the Underdead series. Woo hoo!

Jo at home

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This week I’m composing a brilliant (yes, sarcasm is part of Bad Limerick Wednesday) verse about Jo.

There once was a Milky way
That on Jo Gartner’s shirt went astray
It didn’t stay new
But melted into goo
And she…ate it anyway

If you’ve read the Underdead books, you’ll know that I’ve captured Jo at home in her sweats when no one is around.

Be honest, you’d eat it too. Surely you’ve eaten something off your shirt before?

And yes, I realize I seem to be unclear on the concept of Limerick Wednesday, seeing as it is Tuesday. Not to worry–I feel a few Thursday postings in my future. It will allll average out.

Bad Limerick Wednesday

Posted on by lizjasper

I’m getting back to writing Underdead #3 and what better way to limber up the writing muscles than…bad limericks?

I’m posting the first Wedneday Limerick on Tuesday as it clearly is in the spirit of limericks to do so.

There once was a common code
That got right up Liz Jasper’s node
she dripped and sneezed
And snorted and wheezed
But the damned thing would not gode!