Note: I’m participating in a great blog hop. Grand prize is a Nook filled with great books including UNDERDEAD. You can ALSO enter to WIN an ebook of UNDERDEAD by leaving a comment on my blog between December 16 and December 23. AND I’ll post the links to the other blogs (where you can win MORE great prizes) at the end of this blog. Exhausted already? Not to worry–this blog is for you!
Secret Holiday Relaxation Tips for the Shameless
Right now the idea of shopping or making anything–doing anything more–is so horrifying that I have been responding positively to a facebook posting about bacon and Twinkie sandwiches.
In fact, I can’t even remember what I was slated to write about. I think it was something sweet and special about the holidays (if anything about vampires can be sweet and special over the holidays) but already I’ve deep-sixed it.
All I can think about it how I’m going to relax. I need some down time in the worst way. I’ve started scheming of how to get and spend an hour or two all by myself so I can sink down on the couch with some snacks that are bad for my waistline but excellent for the inner woman…and then sink down for a nice long nap.
Some of you may be thinking, “Well that’s nice, but how do I relax when I’ve got people staying with me? Weird Uncle Fred is camping on my nap couch in the den.” I hear your pain (and your incipient hysteria–go have a chocolate break. It’s okay. We’ll wait. Back now? Better? Okay then…) So I’m going to share a really special holiday tradition with you that I guarantee will make you relaxed and happy. You do this after Christmas dinner. It’s particularly good after Thanksgiving dinner, but Christmas is good too. I can’t recommend it enough.
Timing is important. You do this right after you’ve finished your meal when everyone’s a bit glassy eyed with food. You know the time–when they’re pondering whether they should roll themselves to the living room now or wait another half hour until they’ll actually fit through the door. That’s when you strike. You volunteer to clear the table. Stay with me now.
You grab a few of your favorite dishes off the table, sling a finger through the gravy boat handle and tear off into the kitchen before anyone can follow you. Then you eat off the serving spoons. Yes, you heard me. Spoon up a fat wad of mashed potatoes, drizzle a little leftover gravy on it and shove the whole wide-load into your mouth, completely ignoring the little horrified voice begging you to stop, the one that sounds a lot like your mother and your grandmother.
It’s sublime. Food tastes better this way. It’s the best part of the meal. No one will know. No one will be in there with you. They’ll think you’re being helpful and noble and doing dishes and will avoid the kitchen like you’re brewing up plague in there.
Go back and get some more dishes. Eat off those serving spoons.
Eventually guilt will get some more people up from the table to help with the washing up and–here’s the genius of this plan–they’ll probably shoo you out since you’ve been, “all alone working so hard in there.”
And then you can go have first crack at the box of See’s and eat up all the molasses chips before your sister can get to them.
Remember, ’tis the season to be jolly!
Also remember to leave a comment to be entered in a holiday drawing for UNDERDEAD. And visit these other blogs for entertainment and lots of stuff to win!
Click here to enter in the grand prize (the fully loaded Nook). Who all is ON the nook? Here’s the full list:
A Brush of Darkness -Allison Pang (WINNER MUST DOWNLOAD THROUGH ADOBE DIGITAL EDITIONS)
A Hard Habit to Break – KC Kendricks
Angel in the Middle – Marie Dees
Betting on Hope – Kay Keppler
Blood of the Maple – Dana Marie Bell
Cry Wolf – Angela Campbell
Dearly Departed – Lia Habel
Entanglements – PR Mason
Eris – D. Renee Bagby
Golden – Joely Sue Burkhart
Grey’s Lady – Natasha Blackthorne
Her Dark Knight – Sharon Cullen
Hunting Kat – PJ Schnyder
Knight of Runes – Ruth A. Casie
Leading Her To Heaven – Kayleigh Jamison
Love on Cloud Nine – Linda Andrews
Lust on the Rocks – Dianne Venetta
Men of the Sea Anthology – Eliza Knight
Murdering Eve – Kelly Lee
Redaction – Linda Andrews
Relearning the Ropes – DC Juris
Risking Trust – Adrienne Giordano
Shadows & Dust – Yvonne Nicolas
Sloane Wolf – Margay Leah Justice
Snowy Encounters – Clarissa Yip
Soul Catcher – Vivi Dumas
The Alchemist’s Perfect Instrument – AL Davroe
The Demon He Knows – RA Vaughn
The Fallen Queen – Jane Kindred
The Knife’s Edge – Stephanie Draven
Underdead – Liz Jasper
What Not To Fear – Robert C. Roman
White Hot Christmas: Santa’s Claws – Stephanie Burke
THe above authors and many more are participating in the HOP, which means they are giving away stuff on their sites IN ADDITION to particupating in the Nook giveaway. So check them all out by clicking here:
And if you NEED ENTERTAINMENT RIGHT AWAY–I know the feeling–visit the Book Lovers Buffet. All books are 99cents for the holidays.
Whew–I need some eggnog! Happy Holidays! –Liz