Liz Jasper’s Top Five Work Avoiders

5. Clean the bathroom with a toothbrush and half a Q-tip
4. Stress bake five pans of brownies at once
3. Netflix marathon of a series with at least three seasons under its belt
2. Try to train the cat to fold laundry
1. Other work

Hold on.

What happened to my wonderful procrastination list? There is something very wrong with this list. #1 should definitely NOT be on there. But it has been.

In addition to writing books, over the last couple of years I’ve gone back to grad school–again–and studied for and passed The Big A** Ten Hour Test (over a 24 hr period but still!), and then I took another test and…. I want you all to know the dedication I have to my writing that I went back to school again just to get fodder for writing classroom scenes. (Ok, I had other reasons. And I do like learning.)

But the good new is that I’m done with school and tests (YAY!) andI have finished Underdead With A Vengeance.

HOORAY!

Kim Van Meter is messing around with the cover. My final readers are reading away. My editor is sharpening her red pen. And I’m napping. I hear other writers cackling knowingly. Ok, I’m not napping. I just really want to nap, so I’m trying that “putting it out to the Universe” bit. (If someone knows a way I can promote my next book by napping, please, I beg of you, let me know immediately.)

I took last weekend off and it was bliss. No work. Quiet. I listened to bees buzz and wind rustle through the trees.

And then I came back home and boom! all the todo lists collided in my head and I think something shorted out.

So. Help an author out. What do you have on your procrastination list? So that I can steal it?

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Writer’s Lair

I’m using this interlude while Underdead with a Vengeance is off being critiqued to deal with something that has been a pressing on my mind for a very long time:

I don’t have a lair.

A few months back, fellow writer Mike Schulenberg (his funny blog is here) and I were doing a little twitter brainstorming to try to solve the problem. It went basically like this:

Liz: You have a lair?

Mike: Of course I do. Where else would I hatch my diabolical schemes?

Liz: I need a lair! Volcano?

Mike: Don’t overlook the timeless appeal of a moon base

Liz: Too cold. Maybe volcanic moon of Jupiter, but that’s too far from Swenson’s Sticky Chewy ice cream.*

* The best chocolate ice cream. I don’t know why other manufacturers bother trying.

The truth is, I’ve had my eye on the perfect lair since I was twelve, or however old I was when I saw A Man With a Golden Gun.

(Imagine picture here. I took it down. Because I was getting  visitors.)

Lairspot: Ko Tapu Island in Thailand. AKA James Bond Island. AKA Liz Jasper’s sweet new Lair.

Keep.
Off.

It has everything I need. It’s warm, it’s gorgeous, it’s in the middle of nowhere, and it comes with minions. Minions who can swirl me up a soft serve and keep the tourists off the beach.

Opportunity for world domination–bonus!

I think I’ll move in this weekend. It’s been deserted for decades. James Bond fully ousted that lame squatter who drew attention to himself by trying to takeover the world. (That is NO way to treat a secret lair. He deserved what he got.)

If you have a lair, please do tell me about it. Perhaps I’ll send one of the minions over with a nice bowl of soft serve.

Underdead With A Vengeance–news on the third book in the series

I feel like I have to start this post with,”No, I haven’t died,” which I do realize is how my last posting started. Nevertheless… No, I haven’t died. I HAVE been working on the third book in the Underdead series. And I’m here because yesterday I finished a rewrite pass. Hooray!
Now, some writers would have used “the” re-write pass. (Jealous moment.) I’ll be doing another one before I send it off to my editor.

But, that’s all fine tuning, and as a former Life Science teacher who used to spend quality time with microscopes, I can attest that fine tuning means the end is in sight. (Note: nylons and fresh lettuce leaves (chloroplast streaming makes you wonder at the definition of what is alive) are very cool under a microscope. Never get tired of them.) (Or parenthetical phrasing!)

So, third book coming soon. There will be a fourth for certain. And possibly many more.

I need a wee bit of space before I look at the book again, and I won’t know what to do with myself if I don’t spend my commute time and lunch hours writing so I might actually post blogs. I know, you’ll all faint from the shock if that happens.

Happy Labor Day everyone! I’m going to put the computer away, get off the couch and go for a hike.

I haven’t died but I might be turning into a dwarf

Sneezy, to be specific. I refuse to consider that I am suddenly succumbing to seasonal allergies so turning into a dwarf is the only logical explanation for my sudden onset tissue needs.

Other than that very exciting update, the fun news here is that I’m hard at work writing the third book in the Underdead series. Woo hoo!

Jo at home

This week I’m composing a brilliant (yes, sarcasm is part of Bad Limerick Wednesday) verse about Jo.

There once was a Milky way
That on Jo Gartner’s shirt went astray
It didn’t stay new
But melted into goo
And she…ate it anyway

If you’ve read the Underdead books, you’ll know that I’ve captured Jo at home in her sweats when no one is around.

Be honest, you’d eat it too. Surely you’ve eaten something off your shirt before?

And yes, I realize I seem to be unclear on the concept of Limerick Wednesday, seeing as it is Tuesday. Not to worry–I feel a few Thursday postings in my future. It will allll average out.

Bad Limerick Wednesday

I’m getting back to writing Underdead #3 and what better way to limber up the writing muscles than…bad limericks?

I’m posting the first Wedneday Limerick on Tuesday as it clearly is in the spirit of limericks to do so.

There once was a common code
That got right up Liz Jasper’s node
she dripped and sneezed
And snorted and wheezed
But the damned thing would not gode!

Crimson In The Very Wrong Fairy Tale Launch Party

Hi all,

Crimson in the Very Wrong Fairy Tale is now available. The print version and the ebook version are already up on AMAZON and SMASHWORDS.

The very first reader review is already up at Amazon:

FIVE STARS! “Liz Jasper delivers and she delivers big with CRIMSON. The cast of characters are endearing and so much fun! Some of my favorite parts were exploring Crimson’s underground ‘castle’, especially her closet. Just wait until you see her closet!! Jasper has a way of making her characters become your best friends. You will cheer for Crimson, you will laugh with her and you will want to spend more time with her when you hit The End and beg Liz to hurry up and give you the next book.”

Release fun–contests, interviews and more:

Through Wednesday, August 15th. Goodreads print book giveaway

Wednesday, August 8: Guest blog at Liv Rancourt’s blog. I’m being interviewed by her Ouija board. Yes, I just typed that.

Monday, August 13: I’m the author of the week at Fabio Bueno’s YAMONDAY

Thursday, August 16: Visit me for an interview on Jennifer Oliver’s blog.

BEACH BOOK BLAST!!! Wedneday, August 15th-Sunday August 19, join me and a bunch of fabulous authors as we give away a KINDLE and lots of books and prizes for summer/fall 2012 releases! There are a ton of blogs to visit and prizes to win, so check it out every day through the event. I’ll post more info here later this week.

Wednesday, August 22: Visit me for Live Wonderstruck on Sherri Martin-Hutchin’s blog

Look for more events and updates!

CRIMSON IN THE VERY WRONG FAIRY TALE is available now in both print and ebook (it’s up at Amazon and Smashwords and will be available everywhere else in the next few weeks). Here, again, is the back cover blurb:

 

Crimson has a strategy for surviving high school. Blend in. Don’t cause trouble.
It works pretty well–until her sixteenth birthday when her long-lost father shows up and all hell breaks loose.
Literally.
It turns out that he is a demon king, which makes Crimson…a princess. Of Darkness.

Her castle is a sulfur-reeking cavern underground. Her Princess Training has nothing to do with tea and crumpets. Prince Charming isn’t rushing in to save her. And, to top it off, she still has to go to high school.

She can’t tell anyone the truth, not even her best friends. To survive, she will have to risk everything and use a cunning she didn’t know she possessed. And even then there’s no guarantee she or anyone she cares about will be alive tomorrow–for neither Hell nor high school comes with a manual.